You Make Every Day Worth Living
by warchiefsteph
Summary: "Athena," he repeated, opening his eye and drawing away to meet my gaze. "I, ah. Ahem, well, I'm not good at this whole letting people care about me thing, you see."


The sun had fallen far beyond the horizon, the chirping of crickets the only indication of the time.

The curtains had been drawn for the better part of the day; I sat in the midst of the shop, a single candle alight before me, burnt down it its last embers. Before me, Asra's deck lay, silent and unmoving. Whether it was the fates, or how the stars aligned that night, I couldn't say, but they were unrelenting in their desire to stay quiet, and the longer I stared, the longer I _tried_ to garner some information of my past or my future, the more stubborn they became. I never had an issue when trying to read the Arcana, and yet they were as silent as the dead.

A growl curled my lips as my hand hovered above the deck, eyes closed as I drew from their magic. I could not _feel_ a single hint from them, nor did they tease me with the knowledge on answers as they so often did. It was frustrating; had I done something wrong to keep them from answering me? Or maybe I was asking the right questions at the wrong time. Perhaps they _knew_ that if I were to receive the knowledge that I so desperately sought, I would return to the catatonic state in which Asra had found me more often than he liked. Regardless, try as I might to uncover the mysteries held within the cards, they eluded me, like trying to capture smoke within my hands.

An angered sigh fell from my lips and my eyes flashed open, casting my gaze aside. Beside me, rested a sapphire tarantula; the creature had hovered about the shop more and more often, finding me whenever she had the chance. I could often feel her attempt to make contact with me, and though we were not quite there, as Asra was with Faust, the realization that this spider was my _familiar_ did ease me. Intelligent eyes watched me curiously at my frustration, and her fuzzy feet gently crawled across the floor, inching closer, until her first two legs were touching my thigh. Seconds later, she lifted herself onto my lap, resting, as though to comfort me.

"Sweet thing," I said, gingerly stroking her sapphire abdomen. "At least you're here. Asra ran off again and didn't tell me where he was going. And Julian? Well…he's not exactly _allowed_ to walk around the city without fearing for his life." The spider shuffled on my lap and I grinned, albeit bitterly. I wasn't exactly happy, and in truth, I was only seconds away from having an angered meltdown.

She poked my leg with her foot before crawling off my lap, and though she did not directly speak to me, she could impress her feelings upon my own, and hunger gnawed at her core. With a smile, I nodded, and the tarantula skittered off into the darkness to find her next meal.

Watching her leave, my attention was turned back to the cards, where they lay on the floor before me. The wick of the candle with struggling to remain lit, and with a huff, I blew it out, summoning a small flame to hover in the air above me. It crackled, bathing me in a warm, orange glow, and I rested my hand above the deck, extending my energies within. I breathed deeply, eyes closed, and reached, listening for their wisdom, hoping for answers. There was a moment of silence, where all was still, and not a sound vibrated within the walls of my shop.

I touched the cards, and found them silent.

It was the final straw. I rose to my feet in an angered huff, crimson hair flying about my face. I turned on my heel toward the door; staying in the shop for a moment longer would likely cause me to set something ablaze. It wouldn't have been the first time, but I'd rather not have Asra come back to signed curtains or a hole in the floor. Stomping toward the door, my brows knitted together in rage, I wrenched it open with a mighty tug, my mind set on nothing but to take a walk in the night.

However, my plans were interrupted as suddenly, in a tangle of limbs and coat, Julian stumbled over the threshold, nearly falling. At the last second, I managed to dart toward him, catching him as best I could, and as he caught his footing, he hastily shoved his hand behind his back, hiding a bundle of _something_ from my view. I cast him a suspicious glance, but paid it no mind as I helped him regain his footing, and after a moment, we both straightened up, eyes meeting as I absentmindedly brushed cobwebs from his shoulders, a smile curving my features.

"Don't tell me you've already had a drink, Julian," I mused, and a devious grin flashed across his lips.

"Not tonight, Athena," he replied, pressing a kiss to my brow, eye glimmering. "I thought I'd save that for later in the week, when you might have time to join me."

In truth, I always had the time. The evenings, I was often quite alone, whether in the palace or the shop. I spent most of the days researching, or honing my magical skills, while nights were often spent curled in a ball on my bed, or sharing stories and sweets with Portia in the comfort of my guest room. Still, as fun as it might be, sometimes it was just nice to get out.

"You know you can always come find me," I said nonchalantly, trying to peer over his shoulder to see what he was hiding. However, Julian sensed my shenanigans, angling his body in a way that would further hide whatever he had from view. My brows knitted together, and I peered at him skeptically, though his dashing smile never faltered. As much as I might have liked it, I could have wiped the smile right off his face, but knowing him, and his particular tastes, he would have _enjoyed_ it.

"What are you hiding?" I persisted, this time trying to reach around to grab what he hid. With a laugh, he danced gracefully around me, provoking a growl from my lips, my eyes flashing dangerously. It was not our first dance, nor would it be our last, but this was a far sight from the first night in the Rowdy Raven where he demanded the attention of the entire crowd.

"Athena, please, I can't tell you just yet," he chuckled, dodging out of my way. Pursing my lips, I rolled my eyes, and rather than try for it again, I threw my arms around his shoulders, pressing my nose against his, taking him by surprise.

"How about for a kiss?" Though I could see the temptation in his eye, he shook his head, rubbing the end of his nose against mine happily.

"Don't tempt me, my dear," Julian replied, his free arm wrapping around my waist. The affection with which he pressed himself against me, with how he nuzzled his face in my hair, told me that this was no 'normal' late-night escapade. He was relaxed by my touch as my hand caressed his narrow cheek, and I watched his eye close as he leaned into my hand, lips brushing gently against my palm.

"Athena." His voice was low, husky, but filled with a relaxed warmth that I had not heard from him before. It was as though, for the first time, he was at peace, comforted by my presense alone.

"Athena," he repeated, opening his eye and drawing away to meet my gaze. "I, ah. _Ahem_ , well, I'm not good at this whole _letting people care about me_ thing, you see."

"Really?" I asked in mock surprise. "I hadn't noticed."

His eye narrowed, lips pursed at my comment, but shook his head regardless. Letting his hand slip from my waist, he closed the door gently behind him, allowing himself into the shop. Taking the hand not currently hidden within both of mine, I led him toward the stairs, with every intention of not letting him leave for the night, yet I watched him inquisitively as he seemed to fret about the words tied on his tongue.

"So what is this about?" I pressed, and he slowed to a halt before reaching the staircase. "You didn't do anything I should be worried about, did you?"

A bitter laugh escaped his lips, and he shook his head. "You mean _aside_ from allegedly murdering Lucio? No, there's nothing to be worried about, my dear. I just…" He trailed off, brows knitting together, and from behind his back, he brought forth his hidden hand, clutched within his fist a small bouquet of irises.

My mouth fell open as I took them gingerly from his hands, fingers trailing along the delicate petals of the largest flower at the center. How he knew they were my favorite, I was unsure, but regardless, a demure grin plastered across my lips as my gaze flickered back to him, seeing the telltale blush spread quickly across his face, stretching to his ears.

"Julian, how did you know…?"

"Mazelinka said you mentioned something to her," he replied sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck as his eye flickered across the shop, looking everywhere but me. "Athena, listen. I, _ah_ , yes there's that 'feelings' thing again. But, erm…" He trailed off again, though his eye finally met mine, and he strode forward, closing the distance between us, his hands cupping my face so delicately, it was as though he thought I might shatter at the contact.

"You make every day worth living," he murmured, biting his lip. I could almost feel the heat radiating from his face, and I could feel a prickling at my ears as they soon started to turn the same shade as my hair. "Before I met you…I was reckless. Well, I still am, but that's beside the point. I didn't _care_. I was willing to put myself at risk, to bring people down with me if I got too close. Then you appeared…I." He paused, frowning. "There's finally a light in my life that I refuse to burn out. Athena…"

For the first time, I was utterly speechless. My gaze was fixed on his, and we stood in silence, peering deeply into each other's eyes, unable to muster a word, _anything_. Do I throw my arms around him? Should I kiss him? I was at an utter loss, but the blossoming warmth within my gut, the joyful beating of my heart hard against my chest, threatening to burst, told me what I needed to do.

I pressed forward, and my arms wrapped around his shoulders, flowers still clutched tightly within my fist. Capturing his lips in mine, I kissed him deeply, mustering all the affection I possibly could into the simple gesture. It took him by surprise for a mere moment, but as he gathered himself, one hand was at the small of my back, the other entangling into my hair as he pressed back. Despite it, I could feel the grin spread across his lips as I kissed him, and I couldn't help but to return it, the slightest giggle escaping me.

It was a minute before we broke the kiss, yet our noses were still pressed firmly against one another's, our brows touching. It took a moment more for me to gather my own thoughts, but once I found them, there was hardly a doubt in my mind to say them.

"I've never… _felt_ like this before," I said softly, eyes closed. "I… _aha_ , you know, I'm not that great at feelings either…"

Drawing back, Julian pressed a soft kiss against my brow, then one on the tip of my nose, and one final kiss on my lips. They were sweet, almost innocent gestures, and despite it, another wave of butterflies blossomed within me, fluttering from my gut to the tips of my fingers and toes. Maybe I failed in expressing my feelings entirely, but reading Julian's face told me that he already knew.

My arms slipped slowly from his shoulders, and my fingers entangled with his, drawing him back toward the stairs. I clutched the flowers tightly to my chest while I went backwards up the steps, unable to tear my gaze away from Julian. My heart refused to relent its racing, but it was a good feeling, a welcomed sensation, and as Julian followed me up the stairs, a smug grin spread across his lips, I knew that despite the danger it could put _me_ in, with Julian is exactly where I wanted to be.


End file.
